InuYasha in A Whole New Light
by Yondaime Namikaze
Summary: Are you short on time? Here's a collection of oneshots for you. Not very long and very funny. Requests are accepted. If you have a good idea and it is funny, let me know. This story is on TEMPORARY HIATUS because I need to think of ideas for oneshots.
1. InuYasha Meets the Electric Dog Fence

**These are a collection of one-shots. I thought up this story in Lowe's when I passed a section on electric dog fences. Now I've given the whole story away.**

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InuYasha Meets the Electric Dog Fence  
Grade Level: 5.9

The Sacred Jewel had been complete for three years. InuYasha still hadn't made his wish, because he really didn't know what to wish for. He didn't want to become a full-fledged demon anymore, because he didn't want to hurt Kagome. He didn't want to be full human either, because he wouldn't be able to protect Kagome. Kagome still traveled to the Sengoku Jidai. She felt that she was needed there. After InuYasha makes his wish, she'd return home for good.

Recently, Kagome had bought a puppy, a cute little golden retriever pup. She named it Inu. With the help of her mother and twelve-year old brother, they'd installed an electric dog fencing system. Kagome would only put the metal dog collar on Inu when he was outside. When Inu was inside, Kagome kept the metal dog collar on her bedside dresser.

Currently, Inu was roaming around inside the house and the metal collar sat on Kagome's dresser. Kagome was getting a bath. Suddenly, InuYasha jumped into the house, through Kagome's open bedroom window. She's not here, he thought to himself. InuYasha never admitted to anyone that he loved the smell of Kagome's bedroom. The room always smelled like Kagome.

InuYasha spotted the metal collar lying on Kagome's dresser. **_That looks cool_**. He walked over, picked up the collar, unclasped the collar, and put it around his neck. Kagome had removed the Beads of Subjugation two years ago. To InuYasha, it felt good to wear another necklace. He'd never realized how attached he'd grown to Kaede's rosary.

Suddenly, remembering how angry Kagome could get, InuYasha hid the collar in his haori. The collar hid perfectly under InuYasha's haori and there was no trace of it. Finally succeeding in boring himself, InuYasha sat down on Kagome's pink bed to wait for her.

Kagome steeped out of her bath a couple minutes late. She grabbed two towels out of a nearby cabinet. She used one to tie up her long, wet, black hair. She tied the other towel around her thin body, concealing all "private" parts. Then she went to her bedroom to change.

The first thing Kagome noticed when she walked into her room was that InuYasha was sitting on her bed. Seeing him jump off the bed, she knew what he was going to ask, so she quickly told him, "I'm getting dressed, then we can leave. InuYasha, can you leave my room so I can change?"

InuYasha quickly ran downstairs to the kitchen. Kagome pulled some clothes out of her closet. After completing the Sacred Jewel, Kagome had stopped wearing her schoolgirl uniform to the Feudal Era. Kagome quickly pulled the clothes on and ran down to the kitchen to meet up with InuYasha again. Once Kagome had finished packing her yellow backpack, she set out to the well house with InuYasha.

InuYasha POV

InuYasha walked alongside Kagome. Right outside the well house door, InuYasha suddenly felt a stinging sensation zap his neck. He quickly jumped back and the pain subsided. Kagome turned back to face him, confusing showing on her face. "What's the matter, InuYasha?"

"When the hell did you put a barrier in front of the well?" he replied harshly.

"We never put up a barrier, InuYasha."

"Feh. Whatever, let's just go," scoffed InuYasha. As he walked to the well house, he felt the stinging sensation zap his neck once again. He jumped back, fell to his knees, and grabbed his neck in pain. "Ow, it hurts," he painfully mumbled.

Kagome ran over to InuYasha, kneeled down to his level, and placed her hand on his back to comfort him. "Tell me what the pain feels like, InuYasha. Maybe I can help ease the pain."

"Well, it feels like this… painful shock," he replied, trying to find the right words. Kagome smiled, knowing exactly what InuYasha had done. "Let me see something, InuYasha." Inuyasha nodded his head in agreement and Kagome began. She removed his red haori, leaving his white shirt underneath. Kagome quickly found the culprit and removed it. Still holding the collar, Kagome said, "You've been in my room again, huh, InuYasha?"

InuYasha, who had just grabbed his haori, stared down at the red coat. "Well… uh…yeah. Are you mad…at me, Kagome?" Kagome smiled. "No, I'm not mad at you, InuYasha. That was kind of funny." Kagome smiled InuYasha the silver collar. "This is Inu's dog collar. The metal reacts to the electric dog fence my family put up." Kagome looked up at her bedroom window. She then turned back to the hanyou. "InuYasha, do you think that you could run this collar back up to my room?"

InuYasha, who had finished putting his haori back on, looked up at Kagome. Uncertainty showed on InuYasha's face as he asked, "There isn't any barriers around there, is there?" Kagome smiled. "You're safe, InuYasha. There are no 'barriers' near my house.

InuYasha took the collar from Kagome, jumped onto the branch near Kagome's bedroom window, and jumped in Kagome's open window. He quickly set the collar back down in its original spot and jumped back out of the room.

Once all the distractions were gone, InuYasha and Kagome finally returned to the Feudal Era. On the other side, InuYasha helped Kagome out of the well and they walked, still holding each other's hand, to Kaede's hut, where they were to meet up with their friends.

InuYasha was still thinking about the mysterious collar. As they neared Kaede's hut, InuYasha looked over at Kagome. "Ya know, Kagome, I think I liked the Subjugation Beads better than that stupid 'electric' collar."

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**It's pretty bad when a one-shot is longer than the chapters you put out for a chapter story, but oh well. That's it for this one-shot. A small note on this story: I've only got two one-shots written and this was number one. I NEED SOME IDEAS. If I don't get any ideas, I will end this after the next one-shot. If you have any good ideas, don't hesitate to give me a message. Heck, I'll even dedicate that chapter to you. So, ideas are much appreciated. Thanks!**


	2. Directions

**This chapter is also a one-shot that I came up with. This is also the last one that I have come up with at this time. I got some ideas (thank you!), but I'm still in need. IMPORTANT MESSAGE: As I get more ideas, I might have to neglect some ideas. I'm sorry in advance if I would happen to neglect yours. I truly hope that I don't have to. : END IMPORTANT MESSAGE. I came up with this one-shot as I was walking home from the library. The central message: What would happen if Kagome were to teach Miroku directions?**

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Directions  
Grade Level: 4.8

The demon-slaying group decided to take the day off from looking for jewel shards. Sango was unconscious after being injured in the day's earlier battle, InuYasha was hungry, and Shippo was exhausted. That night, as InuYasha ate the ramen Kagome had prepared for him, and Shippo slept next to a larger Kirara, Kagome taught Miroku an important lesson.

"I'm going to teach you directions," Kagome began. "Directions?" Miroku asked, unsure. Kagome nodded. "Yes, directions like left and right." Miroku, still confused, replied, "Left and right?" Kagome nodded. "Let's begin."

The lesson went late into the night. Finally, once Kagome felt that Miroku understood the lesson, she told him, "Okay, let's get some sleep now." The next morning dawned. Sango was conscious again, which pleased Miroku. While Sango, InuYasha and Shippo sat by the fire, Kagome walked over to Miroku. She sat down beside the monk and asked him, "Do you still remember the lesson I taught you last night?" Miroku nodded. "Okay then," Kagome replied, "let's review. What is 'right'?"

"Right is the hand with the Wind Tunnel."

"Correct, and what is 'left'?"

"Left is the hand with the Wind Tunnel…" Kagome was perplexed. "What?"

"…in the American manga version of _InuYasha_," Miroku finished. Kagome was still perplexed. "How do you know this, Miroku?" Miroku walked over to Kagome's backpack. He pulled out a copy of InuYasha-American manga volume 1. (1) "You left this lying out one day and I picked it up and looked at it." The other three walked over to see the commotion. InuYasha, always dense, asked, "What's going on here?" Kagome didn't hesitate to answer. "Miroku was snooping around in my stuff."

InuYasha, Sango, and Shippo saw the book in Miroku's hands and walked over to him. They each had a different reaction. "This Rumiko Takahashi made my story into a manga?" (InuYasha)

"This is cool. Can I see it after you, Miroku?" Sango asked. "Do you actually read this, Kagome?" asked Shippo."

"No, I hate English. I just look at the pictures." The other four members passed the InuYasha manga back and for the, amazed at all the information that one little book held. Kagome sat back a ways from the others. "I don't get it," she mumbled to herself, "I taught him the 'make an L with your index finger and thumb' method."

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**Okay, something to mention:**

**(1) I know that Miroku doesn't appear in volume 1, but when I wrote this, I didn't feel like picking out a random number. BTW, he appears and fights InuYasha in volume six, if anyone forgot or was wondering.**

**Now, yes, still in need of ideas. Let me know. Also, this was really random, and I know. I made this up as I was walking (on the spot) and I wrote it down later. I think it lost some of the effect.**

**Lastly, I don't know if I mentioned this already. IDEAS**

**-demonalchemist5**


	3. Miroku Learns What A Strip Club Is

**So, I guess I'll try to update this story now.**

**I WILL still take suggestions or requests, because, honestly, that's the only thing keeping this story going right now.**

**This chapter is a reader submitted idea. (AKA not mine)**

**So, this chapter is dedicated to ****Loveless8000****. Note: I had to do some research on this topic since I live in Pennsylvania and we don't have strip clubs in my small town city. I credit Wikipedia and if I'm wrong, blame that site, not me. Okay?**

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Miroku Learns What A Strip Club Is  
Grade Level: 4.5

Miroku was bored one night so he strolled along the streets of Tokyo. He saw a place that was full of lots of underdressed women. Everyone who knows Miroku knows what he did next. Yeah, he walked into one of Tokyo's strip clubs.

Miroku looked around, taking it all in. **_There are so many beautiful women here. I don't know which one I want first._** He decided to sit down and watch the entertainment. **_Maybe, I'll find a woman that will just jump right out at me._**

The announcer walked up to his microphone to announce the next pole dancer. "Next up for pole dancing is Sango!"

Miroku turned his chair toward the stage and saw a woman there. She was dressed in a bathing suit that complemented and exaggerated her toned body.

The woman, Sango, had long brown hair that reached almost down to her waist. Today, she had it pulled back into a high ponytail.

She walked up to the pole and performed her well-practiced dance. Miroku was impressed. **_Why did I never come to one of these strip clubs before?_** he wondered.

Sango finished her dance and all the guys whistled. Miroku joined in. Without even watching any of the other girls, Miroku knew that he wanted Sango, but he didn't know how good his chances were because there were so many other guys in the audience.

…SANGO POV…SANGO POV…SANGO POV…SANGO POV…SANGO POV…

Sango, the young dancer, finished her routine and walked back to her room. Once there, she saw her friends, Kagome and Ayame. Sango collapsed into her dressing room chair. She pulled a towel out of one of her drawers and used it to get rid of some of the sweat on her face.

"You did great, Sango," said Ayame.

"Thanks," Sango replied, barely listening.

"Don't forget to watch us when we go on, Sango," Kagome reminded her friend. Then, Kagome and Ayame walked out, leaving Sango to recollect her thoughts.

Sango didn't really like working for the strip club, but she desperately needed the money and the pay was right.

Sango left the room. Now that her pole dance routine was over, she had to go find a guy to entertain for the rest of her shift. Sango didn't like this part of the night, because there was always so many guys. Also, once the night was over, she never saw those guys again.

Sango walked out into the dining area. She scouted out the guys. After a while, she saw a guy wearing a violet-purple shirt and navy-blue jeans. He looks like fun. I guess I'll play with him tonight.

She walked up to the man. "Hello, I'm Sango."

The man looked up and his violet eyes met Sango's chocolate ones. "Oh, I saw your performance. I'm Miroku."

For once, the last hours of Sango's shift passed quickly, and she was actually disappointed to leave, but she reluctantly decided to.

Before she left, Miroku slipped a piece of paper into her hands and said two words that none of her other clients had ever said before. "Call me."

Sango smiled and ripped off another sheet of paper. She slipped the paper into Miroku's hands and said something that she'd never said before. "Only if you call me too."

Sango snuck back to her room to change and gather her stuff. Then, she left through the back employee door.

…MIROKU POV…MIROKU POV…MIROKU POV…MIROKU POV…

Miroku stared at the number in his hands. **_I can't believe that I got a girl's phone number. This night can't get any better._**

Miroku left shortly after Sango did, because he had no reason to stay. **_I guess I don't have a reason to visit a strip club again. Not that this wasn't fun, but I want to be with Sango._**

Miroku continued walking down the street. Now he was bored again.

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**I had several different plotlines running through my head when I wrote this, so I hope this works.**

**I actually stole the pole dancing idea from Smallville, so credit them, too.**

**I know that it took me awhile to write this. Forgive me. I've been busy, and on top of that, I forgot that I'd started this.**

**I really hope that it was worth the wait, and if it wasn't, I'm sorry.**

**REQUESTS/SUGGESTIONS ACCEPTED!**


	4. Punishment

**I borrowed this idea from sango103. I hope that I accurately portrayed everything.**

**sango103: If you ever need me to write any other ideas for you, simply ask. I always take requests.**

**Now, here's the chapter which I'm titling "Punishment."**

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Punishment  
Grade Level 4.9

The day started out just like any other. The group ate one of Kagome's fire-cooked meals. InuYasha begged for ramen again, and Kagome sat him for it.

Then, just like always, Miroku's perverted hands found their way to a certain demon slayers bottom. Sango's normal response, obviously, was to smack him as hard across the cheek as she could, but she didn't stop there.

The gang had fought a demon earlier, and Sango hadn't changed out of her slayer uniform yet. She pulled her rope out of the secret compartment on her shoulder. Then, she pulled Miroku to his feet, pushed him into a tree and quickly tied him tightly to the tree's trunk.

Miroku was, at first, surprised by Sango's strength and speed, but when he got over his shock, he remembered that she was a demon slayer and it wasn't uncommon for them to have great strength and speed.

"Geez, Miroku, you're so annoying sometimes," Sango told him. With that last thought, she walked away, leaving to group to laugh at what she'd just done.

InuYasha was practically rolling around on the ground. Kagome and Shippo had never seen him laugh so hard. "Wow, Miroku, she really got you good this time." He stopped as he looked at Miroku and broke into another fit of laughter. "You know that I won't forget this, and I'll never let you forget, right?"

Miroku sighed. "Well, I guess that I should have assumed that."

Then, Kagome remembered something. She'd stuck her digital camera into her backpack last time she went home. She quickly grabbed the bag and pulled out the camera. "Hey, look guys. I have my camera!"

"Cam-ah-rah?" asked InuYasha. "What does it do?"

"It's like a memory saver. Once I hit this button on top, it will take a photo. This photo is a non-moving picture of what you aimed the camera at." She aimed the camera at "Miroku's tree" and pressed the button."

InuYasha and Shippo grew confused. "Nothing happened?" Shippo asked in reply.

Kagome smiled at the young fox demon's cute confusion. "Sure, something happened. The picture was taken successfully and now it's saved on my camera. Here, I'll show it to you two."

Kagome went to her saved pictures and the first one that came up was the picture of Miroku. "See, here's the picture," she told them.

InuYasha and Shippo gathered around the camera to see the picture that Kagome had taken.

"Wow, Kagome! Your era has really great things!" Shippo exclaimed.

"So, what happens to this 'pick-tur' now?" asked InuYasha, confused.

"Well, next time I can go home, I'll get onto my computer. With a connection from my camera to my computer, I will be able to access my pictures. Then, I'll fix it up and print it out. I'll print out copies for you, and Shippo, and Sango too. Wait a minute. Where did Sango go? She hasn't come back yet."

"She probably went to the river. She always goes to the river when she's upset," Shippo answered Kagome's question.

"Why don't we go over to the river and cheer her up, then?" Kagome decided. The others agreed and they headed off.

Miroku, who had been standing against the tree with an "I'm not amused" look on his face, noticed them leaving him. The monk's expression changed to one of confusion. "Hey, aren't any of you going to untie me?" he yelled to the group.

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**I hope that I captured the essence of this well enough.**

**sango103, how'd I do? If I missed anything, then I will gladly put it in later.**

**Anyway, does anybody else have any suggestions? I will literally write anything**.


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